I had a vision of my future tonight, and to tell y'all the truth, it was kinda nice. I went straight from Orchestra, which ran over till 9:30ish, to rehearsing Scott's (Insert Last Name Here. No really. Its something with a B) percussion piece for the composition recital tonight. Super stressed, super bitchy, but somehow the process of working through a new piece from nothing, with a whole crowd of kids as super hyped as you are to be exactly where you are, doing exactly what your doing at that moment in time. It had that same old sparkly charm, bad mood totally gone, and I'm flying sky high. I wish I could explain it better, the power music has over me, the indomitable capacity to shut out the world. I remember days in middle school and high school where I'd be physically ill, and within in minutes of the warm up chords of Jazz Band or Wind Ensemble or whatever, all of that would be out the window. I know the physiology of it, how music literally slows down your bodily functions, heartrate, blood pressure and all. But in the end, its the process of making something out of nothing, conquering a small part of existence, being inescapably present, its all of that which I find so...calming.
I'm excited for the future to come. For the days when I can be that spontaneously devoted, can wander the lengths of my passions, without silly research papers and required courses getting in the way. More than that, I'm...maybe curious? aroused? By the specter of it all.
Enough. Red Negras, I shall conquer. Ya here me? I will take you down, and I shall win.
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