I'll probably delete this later, but I just had to proclaim that my brain is exploding. Or melting. I can't really decide. I had this tremendous intellectual revelation breakthrough, and now all I want to do is sit in the library and write my theses so I can go to grad school. Like. Right now.
God damn it I hate it when you're interest has been piqued, but yet, there is no where to go with it, nothing to do and no resources to back up your brilliance?!?!?!
:-<
Longer post ruminating, percolating, and maybe even rotting. I think I'll sit and write tonight, perhaps post the results tommorow if they're particularly useful. Pow wow tommorow around 3 if anyone can make sense of me.
"...We agreed that a young person's years of indecision were not wasted if they provided thinking space fortified by relevant data, even though some of the latter might not be understood at the moment, so that when the lucky moment of inspiration struck, it found tinder to ignite, but Joe asked, 'What if you just keep on drifting, not knowing what tinder to collect because you don't know what's going to ignite you?'
'You go on long enough,' Holt growled, 'you become a bum."
Now there was extended discussion of what the term 'long enough' meant, and someone asked me what I thought, and I said, 'I don't know much about girls, but for a man it's almost impossible to waste a year before the age of thirty-five...no year can be wasted. Knocking around Europe may be the very best thing a young man can do if he wants to become a great lawyer. Working in a lumber camp may be the real road to a vocation for the ministry. Suppose you want to be a fine dramatist. Maybe the route lies through Marrakech..."
I've found my song, my subject. Oh lordy, what now?
"...One of the most exciting things...is to see a young person of talent and character stumble upon a concept big enough to occupy him in his first absorbing test of strength. Such moments are the building blocks of meaning. Now I watched as Gretchen reacted to the sudden explosion of an idea whose ramifications were extensive enough to encompass all that she had been inchoately dreaming of;...she saw ahead of her the long years of work and their fulfillment."
For now, Mitchner. Tommorow, palabras de mi cabeza, en mis propias palabras.
Can someone please turn me off?
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3 comments:
switch..OFF-whoop, light out:)
Oooh! Stay on!
I know the kind of feeling you're talking about, when all of a sudden it makes sense and you're like, "I want to do nothing else in my life except sit in a library or classroom or coffee shop and read and write and think and talk about this one thing." For me, it was after seeing Gustavo Gutiérrez lecture about liberation theology at the U of O in November, or any after a really good discussion about religious studies or migrant issues.
The thing for me that keeps me from going crazy (as much as anything does) is remembering that that spark or revelation is absolutely necessary, but I can't expect it to a permanent state. It's really easy to get disappointed and disillusioned when that "Oh my God, get me to graduate school now, I just want to write my Ph. D already" feeling dissipates but it's just...you have to keep going, and know that it will come back, and that you're not not wasting time in the meantime.
My thoughts, anyway. I hope you post what you end up writing tonight.
Hey, hon. Sorry I flaked out on you in our last MSN convo. I was trying to teach my dad the ways of Amazon.com without getting ripped off and failing miserably. Hopefully we'll have another convo later! :)
You don't want to do your Ph.D now! You want to play and have fun and be a teenager! :)
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