Fall Out

Otherwise known as my new favorite russian song, by some pop wannabe britney character, none of which I understand except the chorus of:

"FUCK THEM ALL....FUCK THEM ALL....FUCK THEM ALL"

Fuck school. Fuck creepy Russians. Particularly the ones I apparently gave my phone number to that keep calling me. Fuck homework. Fuck rain. Fuck Pavle for discussing me "anonymously" for an hour and a half of conversation class today, and needless to say now the whole class and my favorite prof just thinks I'm a big irresponsible child who cant drink. Fuck Natan, the CIEE coordinator, to whom I had the brilliant idea of confessing what happened today so that he could take me to a friggin' doctor and xray my hand which is now about twice the size and the color of scary thunderstorms, who now thinks I have a drinking problem. He basically told me "Well, what youre describing sounds basically like a hangover, so be more careful next time..." creepy wink wink leer. Why in fucks name would I make this up people?!??!! I'm not a fucking child who is too embarassed by her indescretions to admit what really happen. It wasn't the first time I've ever been drunk, I know the affect that alcohol has on me, and that most definitly was not it. This is not some big repressed dream, there are LITERALLY HOURS OF MY LIFE WHICH ARE UNACCOUNTED FOR. Fuck condescending people whom by some quirk of fate landed in authority positions. Fuck the rain and my non-waterproof umbrella. Fuck my hand for hurting 24/7. Fuck the stray dogs for chasing me through the park this morning. Fuck everyone in school for looking at me like some vanquished 7 year old. Fuck all of this for actually happening. Fuck the world for not understanding the words that are coming out of my mouth.

Damn it, I need someone who speaks Peggy cause this whole self-expression thing is just not working out for me.

Ok, Ok thinking positive. Um...tickets to Prague for November vacation are booked. And Bruno the Mexican is coming with me (Sarah...yea...how fucking great will it be to watch the fam react to the swarthy looking Mexican....ahahaha I can't wait...) Ok what else...Making friends at Choir I guess, just not the whole social activity kind...maybe it'll come...I've found my niche with CIEE people, so now its only kind of Peggy hiding in a corner being ice bitch from hell...Only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Lesson with the invisible drummer was freakin' awesome, and he didn't even laugh at me for my travails of tracking him down.

I know, I know. This day is just turning into one of those that makes you wish it were two months from now, just so you could look back and remember with wonder feeling like shit, and then marvel at how you could have ever been so naive and uninformed.

God damn it woman, I miss you.