Tuesday afternoon and I am feeling drained after saying goodbye to our three grads and their families. The ladies just left to meet Norman for a bonus meditation session, and though I'd really love to go sit for a while I'm aware that I am at that precipice point of no return for not quite needing a break but not having enough energy to be solid for another 24 hours. Tuesdays are a tease, without a lot to do and it still feels like we should be outgoing instead of heading out on expedition again. I am doing better staying engaged and in tuned and engaging, but definitly stretched at this point.
Grad was intense. I always want to be the one they write home about, the one that was both memorable and to be missed. To get that in the face from three separate families was powerful and really special to watch. I really appreciated having that piece of closure for my own sake, validation and continuing inspiration. Watching them with their families was like the final payoff of how many months of hard work. The three of them were all so happy, it made me sad or them to think about how hard life gets once they leave here and have to fend for themselves without us asking incessantly how they are feeling. Sad and excited and curious and so very hopeful. I'll truely miss Trace for her smile and perpetual goofiness, Nadine for her optimism and convictions and bravery, and Orange for her laughter. It will be a truely different group now in so many ways.
I am feeling antsy and lethargic in my body. My right temple is starting to tinge, and the inside of my thighs have rubbed raw. My mind feels like its clenched tight, like a face looking into bright sunlight. My heart is stressed out, and wound up. My heart is filling up towards my throat. My heart feels uncertain and warm and open, all at the same time. My soul is angry and ambivalent.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment