Fearless

Things I am Currently Afraid of:
-winter
-next shift sleeping out at sub zero temperatures
-driving in the snow
-skipping my next period
-why my big toes are still numb after last weekend's snowshoeing adventures
-not having enough money to pay my bills
-the secret thought that the sun won't come out again for a long long time
-seeing boy on my transport in a few days
-my mind when I think about any future with him

Things I am Currently Sure of:
-my way around Durango and enjoyment of
-winter will end
-my sunlamp is god
-chocolate makes winter better
-double butter and cheese rations make life complete
-I wouldn't mind having more regular sex
-I am a great writer when I want to be
-I miss close people in my life, but am doing better and finding and making them here
-the next place I live will be closer to downtown and with some sense of community and people
-I like myself better when I write poetry
-I am not as dramatic as I imagine

Things I am Currently Working on:
-controlling my anxiety around working outdoors through the winter
-cleaning the fuck out of my room before leaving for work on Monday
-slowing down
-admitting how I feel, not how I think I should feel
-accepting the adventures that find their way to me
-balancing being real and authentic with being under control with my students
-not flipping out about spending money
-not freezing to death
-trusting that the universe makes things happen how they should